Peer-review feedback
The structured response a senior reviewer would write to their editor. Five required sections, anchored quotes, no padding.
Central claim. Global temperatures have risen 1.2 °C since pre-industrial times, driven primarily by anthropogenic greenhouse-gas emissions, and existing policy commitments are insufficient to limit warming to the 1.5 °C target.
What's working. Precision on the scientific record: “risen by 1.2 degrees Celsius since pre-industrial times” grounds the opening in a verifiable figure.
What needs work. Causal language stronger than the cited evidence licenses; the leap from insufficient commitments to policy failure skips two intermediate steps.
Top three priorities. (1) Cite the IPCC AR6 finding directly. (2) Split paragraph 3 — it argues two things. (3) Replace “will fail” with the conditional the data supports.